|Photo: Mahatma Putra‘s Personal Archive
What I am about to write is something that is corny and shallow when it is not being experienced. It is about one’s purpose in life, to find a moment when someone feels complete thoroughly. A moment when life and dead, are no longer the main points of joy and fear. Questions about God are no longer relevant when you experienced Him/Her.
That moment of that experienced named love. It is all one have to experience, to feel the rush that given directly from that transcendent being, and often given separately into the hearts of two human being. Therefore, it will become something astonishing that drive them remarkably crazy to find that other half -I like to understand it as arche1 .
One’s search will stop when they give up. But for me personally, giving up is not a condition of desperateness. Giving up is a condition and a moment when you are ready to let go your self and ego of your search, of your life arche. At first you will numb. But then when you touched the deepest bottom of your heart, alone, giving up, then content you’ll become. As many people said, “Stop looking and you will find,” –a very common line- is something that is hard to understand. It is not a statement of knowing, but a state of experienced.
When one is content and have experienced the love of God, then suddenly the true purpose in one’s life is fulfilled –just like a lot more people have said before. God put his unrecognizable love through everything & everyone, but for some people He/She gave a certain point to make one believe in His/Her love that is real, rather than an abstract literature concept.
At this moment in my life I could say that God, the prima-causa, was not a being that wants us to bow or worship before him. Being humble, receptive and sensitive are some of his many ways to make us experienced him even more. Of course it is different for each person, but in the end we are all swimming into the same sea.
“We could swim together if you want, for the one that made me full and complete is you, a bright star that will lead my way. Let me become the earth that revolving and reloving around you every time, until Horus came and killed it. But until then, just sing “que sera sera,” because what will be always be.”
1. Arche (ἀρχή) is a Greek word with primary senses ‘beginning’, ‘origin’ or ‘first cause’ and ‘power’, ‘sovereignty’, ‘domination’ as extended meanings.
*I wrote this note when I had a second heart attack in 30th of September 2010, at the age of 24, in campus waiting for Ito to bring me to the emergency room, where I listened to “The Spirit Carries On” by Dream Theater to calm me down.