Cerpen English Notes Uncategorized

A Tender Loan

Once upon a time lived a man that never took a bath. He hates water as much as he hates time. He didn’t like the flow of them both because they always led him to the end, end of everything, and the beginning of the greater mystery. Water will led him into an open ocean, place that led him to nowhere, while time will led him to an oldness, a wisdom. But he did not want to become old. He wants to be an idiot, a stupid person who always curious about wisdom itself.

He had a round face with funny-looking glasses. His hair was long, not as long as his penis. He wants a longer and bigger penis, but his god turned him down. His god thinks that he would not able to control his penis, so he gave him a short and tiny penis, to prevent him from getting syphilis. Because if you shy of the size of your penis, you wouldn’t dare to use it carelessly, you will use is wisely.

His name was Daud. Like in the bible, Daud likes women very much. He could spend his time wandering around his neighborhood to find a new uptown girl to get slept with. He was an Indonesian -a society that always come to moral values first- so it’s a little hard for him to found a mere woman who’d like to sleep with him. Even though it was only his apologi, to say that Indonesian girl is not likely to be with him on the same bed. He already realized that his funny looking face is one of the reasons why most of the girls did not want to get laid with him -beside of his non-bathing habit. Daud fully understood his situation.

One day he met a woman named Susan. Susan was the same like Daud. She likes to get laid, but no one could stand her situation. She was a squirt, and she likes to have fun a lot. Most Indonesian thinks she was a bitch, but not until she met Daud.

Susan likes water. She could stands alone in the beach just to recollect her self, to imagine herself as a flowing water, a river which could reach the ocean. She wants to get old, but her god prevents her from getting old. Her god thinks it will be best for her to overcome her age, it will make her a better person if Susan still thinks that she always stupid and curious, same as Daud.

Daud met Susan in a crowd place at the heart of Jakarta. Daud lived around Bekasi, while Susan lived around Pasar Minggu. It was a long trip from Bekasi to Pasar Minggu, nearly two hours. They met at Pasar Senen in central Jakarta. They fell in love. They did not know how to describe one’s feeling, but they realized that they were made for each other. Susan immediately like his long hair and funny face, while Daud immediately like her youth. They both were 35 by the way.

Daud asked Susan to eat at a restaurant near his house. He’d like to treat her a nice beef tenderloin steak. He thought that meat will unite them, because according to what he believes, all human is nothing more than a bunch of meat with brain, trying to find their purpose in life. He believes Susan was a beautiful meat.

Susan gladly accepts Daud’s invitation. She believes a man is nothing more than a bunch of meat trying to find a hole to made them warm. And she could provide a shelter, a warm hole for them.

Daud was a man of science. Although he was a believer, he would count on his knowledge more than his god, but this time there was nothing he could do. He needs money, no one would lend him money to treat Susan a nice tenderloin steak. The only loan-shark possible for him now was god. So he started to pray.

God listens to him. So god came down to earth, met Daud in a form of a dying rich man, and gave Daud a contract form. Daud signed it without hesitation, he did not read the agreement carefully. His only purpose was to get a loan, so he could spend the night with Susan, tenderloin steak, and the most important, a tender kiss, skin, and love.

Daud didn’t know, that in exchange, god wants his most valuable thing, his desire.

By Mahatma Putra

Currently having a long vacation from social media.

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